My wife, Amy, is extremely phobic when it comes to public speaking. Yesterday – the first day of elementary school for our kids – she had to give a speech to parents in her capacity as PTA co-president. She asked me to help her prepare.

Helping Amy write the speech wasn’t difficult. We thought about the tone (informal, warm), the goals (make everyone feel welcome, introduce the PTA) and the call to action (check the first day packets and website for more info, then get involved).

Dealing with Amy's fear was much more challenging. Preparation seemed to calm her nerves, so we did lots of it: 6 drafts (to get the words just right), 10-12 run-throughs, lots of encouragement, and 0.25 mg of Xanax (for her).

Amy felt that the extra preparation helped her succeed in spite of her fear. When I asked if she would do anything differently next time, she had only one suggestion: “More Xanax.”